Email to BopVito, 9/01/07
I check everybody's blog daily, and notice you haven't touched yours in years. And if it's one thing I can't abide in this world, it's a Jew with writer's block.
So: write about that time you stumbled into the kitchen at noon to make breakfast, and while you were reading the pancake recipe from the side of the Bisquick box ('cause you never can remember how much milk and how many eggs) you noticed that on the top flap it says "Do Not Sift", and that in the blur of your hangover you said "Nobody fuckin' tells *me* how to make pancakes!" and dug around in the bottom drawer til you found that old flour sifter Boucher left behind when he moved. So you beat the egg, added the milk, whisked it thoroughly, and then *sifted* the goddamn Bisquick, thus eliminating all the annoying lumps. Made for smooth batter, things were going well, you just about had the coffee going when you noticed that funny kind of light coming from the flour sifter. Turns out the sifting had ripped open a hole in the space-time continuum--you always can tell when it's a space-time rift, since the effusion is black with those green gridlines they always use when illustrating the space-time continuum in any kind of documentary computer animation.
It was growing at a steady rate, you barely had time to hurl the goddamned Bisquick box into the rift before it consumed everything on the counter, which was mostly the bowl of pancake batter anyway, but that was one of your biggest and best spoons. Still, it continued its expansion til you realized you still had the pancakes on the range, so you grabbed the frying pan and threw that into the anomaly, at which point it collapsed into a singularity that popped out of existence with a stereotypical "pop". And that you wrote to General Mills demanding a new bowl, spoon, and frying pan, but they never responded, since Bisquick is put out by Betty Crocker. I tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen. Remember, I was there--but I wasn't hung over (a claim that nobody would believe coming from me, but if you wrote it they might).
So: write about that time you stumbled into the kitchen at noon to make breakfast, and while you were reading the pancake recipe from the side of the Bisquick box ('cause you never can remember how much milk and how many eggs) you noticed that on the top flap it says "Do Not Sift", and that in the blur of your hangover you said "Nobody fuckin' tells *me* how to make pancakes!" and dug around in the bottom drawer til you found that old flour sifter Boucher left behind when he moved. So you beat the egg, added the milk, whisked it thoroughly, and then *sifted* the goddamn Bisquick, thus eliminating all the annoying lumps. Made for smooth batter, things were going well, you just about had the coffee going when you noticed that funny kind of light coming from the flour sifter. Turns out the sifting had ripped open a hole in the space-time continuum--you always can tell when it's a space-time rift, since the effusion is black with those green gridlines they always use when illustrating the space-time continuum in any kind of documentary computer animation.
It was growing at a steady rate, you barely had time to hurl the goddamned Bisquick box into the rift before it consumed everything on the counter, which was mostly the bowl of pancake batter anyway, but that was one of your biggest and best spoons. Still, it continued its expansion til you realized you still had the pancakes on the range, so you grabbed the frying pan and threw that into the anomaly, at which point it collapsed into a singularity that popped out of existence with a stereotypical "pop". And that you wrote to General Mills demanding a new bowl, spoon, and frying pan, but they never responded, since Bisquick is put out by Betty Crocker. I tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen. Remember, I was there--but I wasn't hung over (a claim that nobody would believe coming from me, but if you wrote it they might).
posted by Russ the Librarian at 10:34 PM
1 Comments:
Great News! The Pretzel Park Farmer's Market will return in 2017!
Crawford Organics and the redoubtable Justin Snyder will be back to anchor the weekly market from May to November.
BUT we need YOUR help to make it happen. We need folks to help with making sure everyone who lives in walking distance knows about the Market, we need help setting up and tearing down each week, we need folks to say hello and shake hands and welcome our neighbors to the green gem that is the living beating heart of Manayunk.
The Farmers Market Steering Collective will be holding get togethers after New Years, details to follow. If you have even the slightest interest in helping out even the teensiest bit, please come by and let us know. Even if you have NO interest, come by and say hello. I bet we can talk you into taking a shift some Saturday.
The Market IS the people who live here. I dearly hope you will come out and help keep our neighborhood a little bit more friendly than it might otherwise be.
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