I Must Be Good With My Hands

Stupid goddamn CD player I got for sixty bucks at Fred Meyer's at Christmas two, three years ago.



Seized up on me on Saturday, right after I got back from the library with half a dozen things I grabbed. Six-CD carousel, and I already had in SAP by Alice In Chains, Dio's THE VERY BEAST OF DIO, and Soundgarden's DOWN ON THE UPSIDE. I put in Seattle Public's copies of ALL DAY MUSIC by War, TWELVE by Patti Smith, and ROCKET TO RUSSIA by The Ramones. Hit play, and nothing happens. It'd had some trouble reading CDs the last week or so, but this was ridiculous. Tried skipping to the next CD, but it wouldn't go along with that. So I hit Open...and it wouldn't do that, either. Went upside its head a few times, just to show who had the more aggressive posture, but it didn't take. What a fucking time to go out! Saturday afternoon, with My Crazy Roommate free to prattle on, without any sort of soundtrack to carry me through. I can be comfortable in silence, but I prefer sensory input. I remember as a kid, when I was sent off to bed (which I always resented, by the way), I always could hear the television in the living room as one or both of my parents dozed off in front of the set. On one rare occasion, the TV wasn't on and the house was dark and silent. I couldn't fall asleep, had to go out and turn on the TV with the sound fairly low--just enough to be a sonic nite-lite.

What I'm saying is, I like sounds, music in particular. Loading up six CDs and spending a few hours on the sofa having coffee, doing my Games magazine, and laptopping is a fine way to spend part of an afternoon. I've always been one for sensory overload, much to My Crazy Roommate's consternation. She can barely carry on a conversation if the television is on, as she can't divide her attention. Here's where my OCD is complicated by my ADHD: I have to have several things going on at once. I just do. I'll have the TV on (muted), the stereo going with loud, obnoxious music (or easier stuff, depending on my mood--), a slice of pizza and a beer, Games magazine on a clipboard, and three sessions running on my laptop: gmail, porn site, and surfin' window (New York TIMES, Seattle TIMES, IMDb, blogs, et al.). To be reduced to a single CD at a time through my DVD player became an annoyance--I just had to get something. So I ran over to Pawn Exchange on Aurora, see what they had. Sure enough, they had a 5-CD player going for $30. Next better one was $70, so I was willing to take a chance, since they have a 7-day money-back policy. Whole thing was a waste of time, though, since I got it hooked up and all, tried to put a CD in...wouldn't take. Thing wouldn't work at all. Hateful. Took it back the next day, got my cash back no problem. Started pricing CD players at all the retail outlets. And here's where things went from bad to worse.

Maybe I'm the last one to realize this, but no one makes CD players anymore. Everything out there is a 5-DVD player going for several hundred dollars, or else it's an iPod station. I don't have an iPod, so this doesn't bode well for me. Apparently I have several hundred CDs that are going the way of cassette tapes. I guess I'll have to break down an get an iPod at some point, or at least some form of downloaded or digitally stored media, but it's more than just the paradigm shift that depresses me.

I have a cheap MP3 player I got at K-Mart on sale for $60. Only holds about 145 songs or so, which I understand is paltry by iPod standards. But I kind of like it for just that reason. I have an affinity for off-brand, irregular, or low-end products. It's not because I'm cheap, so much; I think I just identify closely with the not-top-shelf merchandise out there. So: even if the entertainment system of the future is here, and we don't have to fuck around with five-inch plastic discs anymore, we can program all our music from stored memory...I still want my six-CD carousel. No, it isn't as programmable, or nearly as extensive. But it's what I want anyway, and that ought to count for something.

So I decided to perform surgery, see if there was anything I could do for my beloved (though, at the moment, resented--) stereo. Granted, I was as much after the trapped CDs as I was about seriously fixing it, but I thought what the hell: I couldn't much break it any more than it already was, if it was inoperable, and I had to rescue those CDs, the library ones if nothing else.

Three screws on each outer side, and four at the rear. That allowed me to remove the upper casing.

I was able to get all the CDs out except one, SAP by Alice In Chains, since it was under the player mechanism. I tried to work the carousel, see if it'd move. It did, but ground on its plastic gears. On a whim, I decided to see if that kind of nudging maybe shook loose whatever bug had seized it up. Sure enough, when I plugged it in and hit the eject button on the front, it kicked out like nothing was ever wrong.

I replaced the casing, hooked it back up, and gave it a chance to redeem itself. Well, it did have trouble reading two of the CDs, but at least it wasn't seizing up. I can eject at will. Even if it's temperamental about what it'll play (and so far, it's been much more agreeable than not--), this is no time for me to be shelling out $60 or more if I can get by otherwise. My car just ate up several hundred dollars in a new carburetor, emissions adjustment, and a new distributor ICM.

It'll be a while before I upgrade my stereo, so long as it'll serve me well. I know it'll start to have more problems as time goes on, but for now I'm sticking by this bargain basement player.

"It's too bad she won't live. But then again, who does?"